Why its Not Okay to Force an Introvert to be Outgoing - Introvert Whisperer

Introvert Whisperer / Why it’s Not Okay to Force an Introvert to be Outgoing - Introvert Whisperer Why it’s Not Okay to Force an Introvert to be Outgoing If you are an introvert, it’s likely that you’ve caught yourself using it as an excuse for not doing something. The tends to be a great deal of misunderstanding when it comes to introversion, even among self-proclaimed introverts: many people believe that introverts are not outgoing and like to keep to themselves. And while that may be true of some introverts, a lack of in-your-face personality does not necessarily mean that someone is an introvert. Rather, people who are introverts require time to process, restore energy, and be with their thoughts more than they need to heard externally. So what happens when an introvert is pushed to share externally? Let’s find out. People who derive a great deal of energy and excitement from social gatherings, parties, workplace meetings, and even standing in line at the grocery store are extroverts. These people love to interact with others and draw a great deal of their energy from the people and things around them. Introverts, on the other hand, can be alone with their thoughts for days on end and don’t require much interaction with others to feel good about themselves or restore their own energy levels. So when an extrovert is trying to coax an introvert into doing something they don’t want to do, things can fall apart pretty quickly. Pushing People Creates Anxiety For starters, introverts often become anxious about social situations where they don’t want to be. This doesn’t mean that introverts are more likely to suffer from anxiety, but rather that they don’t feel comfortable in large gatherings or with many people. They tend to thrive in one-on-one situations and are happy to transfer and share energy with one or two other people at a time. By encouraging introverts to go outside of their comfort zone despite the best of intentions you are not actually helping them. And it’s not okay to push your energy-seeking ways on people who prefer their own company or the company of one or two other people at a time. Meaningful Interactions are Personal Next, when you try to force an introvert to be outgoing in a social situation, they are unable to connect with people in a way that is meaningful for them. Many business owners are actually introverts, despite all of the necessary outgoing skills that are required to make a business grow and thrive. And again, that has nothing to do with their inability to be outgoing, but rather the way they interact with information and other people. So if you are trying to get your introvert, business owner friend to share a co-working space, they might sign up, but prefer to work at their own table. Stop Setting Expectations of People Finally, forcing introverts to be outgoing means that you have an expectation of them that is not aligned with their own expectations of themselves. While it’s not an ideal conversation to have, you need to ask yourself and maybe your introvert friend, if your relationship is really what you hoped it would be given that one person is not doing or saying the things you want them to. Introverts don’t need to look outside themselves for validation or excitement, while extroverts are constantly on the hunt for someone to look at them and acknowledge their presence in the world. It’s not true that opposites attract when one person is sucking the life out of another trying to get them to conform to a certain way of being. Learn to Respect How Others Interact in the World It’s not okay to determine how others should act, whether they are introverts or not. As a society, we have to let go of expectations of others and allow them to find their own way in the world. This is one of the hardest things for people to do, though, because we all have a tendency to look at someone, judge them for what they are currently doing, and make unwarranted, uneducated, and unsolicited suggestions about how people are living their lives. It’s dangerous to assume that someone can “turn it off” or “turn it on” because everyone is different. When we can respect the way people go about living and interacting in the world, we become much more harmonious and happy with our own life, not to mention the lives of others. How to Help Introverts While many introverts are quite independent and confident in their interactions in the world, you can be a friend and supporter of someone who is introverted by respecting their wishes to be allowed to be alone from time to time. Rather than try to get them to see how they’ll miss out if they don’t go to the party on Friday night, show your support by acknowledging that they need their personal space and time. That goes a long way between friends, colleagues, and associates who want nothing more than for someone to understand they are not “shy”, they are introverted. Author Bio: Personal Branding starts with how well you speak about YOU.  I want to help you accelerate your career by connecting you with your Free Instant Access to my eBook â€" The Definitive Guide to Creating and Using an Elevator Speech.  In this guide, I give you simple to follow instructions for creating a “wardrobe” of ways to talk about you â€" to leave a lasting impression. Get your copy now! Brought to you by Dorothy Tannahill-Moran â€" dedicated to unleashing your professional potential. Introvert Whisperer